Life is life.

 

I stood up from my seat and looked across to where my Head of Department and my senior stood.

I listened to their conversation as what they were discussing have a direct impact towards me.

 

At that moment, I felt like an outsider watching all these that were happening.

 

I never imagined my life will turn out the way it is right now.

 

It was a very strange feeling that I yet to find words to describe.

Is not that I don't like my work or life, I just couldn't believe this is it.

 

Whatever dreams that I've talked about in the past.

Whatever "plans" that I had.

Whatever fantasies I had for the future back then.

Is all NOW.

 

*I think I'm blabbering, but Imma continue.*

 

I remember very clearly that a long time ago I said something like this.

 

"Why do we need to study hard? I might just get married after University. No point studying hard."

 

Unbelievable isn't it? I too find it hard to believe I once said such words.

 

Then when I get a little older, I said this.

 

"My future plan is to graduate, find a job and make my way up the corporate ladder. Then when I have a baby, I will resign or just work from home."

 

I too find this a little unbelievable.

 

This should not be a surprise but whatever that I said previously did not happen.

 

I didn't get married after I graduate from U. 

Duh~ I don't even have a boyfriend. *roll eyes*

 

And I'm definitely not climbing any corporate ladder.

I'm not even working in the corporate world. ><

 

Life took turns that I didn't see it coming.

And I never had any real PLANS.

 

I'm not like those who always wanted to be a doctor or lawyer and end up being a doctor or lawyer.

I just live life as life goes on.

And I am grateful for that.

 

Because no matter where I went, what steps that I've taken, it all leads me to where I am now.

I won't lie. I have regrets. Lots of them.

But I too have experience and encounters that I will never exchange for something else.

 

What if I have stayed in that company a little longer?

What if I have started doing that 7 years ago?

What if I did not fall into that trap?

What if...?

What if...?

What if...?

 

There's a million and one "what if" for my past but all that doesn't matter now.

Because they make no difference, they have no impact in my life.

 

I am living NOW towards the FUTURE.

 

So do I have a plan for my future?

 

If by "plan" you mean enjoying whatever that I'm doing right now and see how things unfold WITH a goal in mind, then yes.

 

But if you mean a plan like what to do, steps by steps on how to achieve that particular goal, then...

NO.

 

I don't want it to become something I HAVE to do, but I WANT to do.

 

If I HAVE to, then it will be a task.

Is no longer a dream or a passion.

 

 Life is not a list of "tasks" to complete.

 

Life is life.

Full of changes.

Full of surprises.

 

#4 Favorite Place

 

I've completed the drawing below but I digressed by continue drawing the flier for my friend and I totally forget to update my blog yesterday!

 

Well done! Constance~ Well done!

THIS is what a blogger do! Forgetting to BLOG. ><

 

Anyway, I gave in some thoughts before drawing this.

 

My favourite place... where is that!

 

Europe?

I never been there before.

 

Japan?

I like that place, but I don't think is my favourite.

 

Singapore?

I want to go there badly, not because it is my favourite place, but because my favourite person is there.

 

Church?

I think is the people that matters, not the actual building.

 

Hometown?

Nope. It changed too much already.

 

My room?

COME ON! I can do better than my room!

 

It really took me a while before I finally realized that my favourite place is not a country or a building.

 

But.... THE BEACH!!!

 

 

Beach always have this calm effect on me.

 

The sound of the waves.

The sand under my feet.

The seashells along the beach.

And the view of the unending sea.

 

I always smile when I see sea and/or beach.

I even want my ashes to be thrown into the sea if is not illegal. LOL

 

Can someone bring me to the beach? Please??

 

Love,

Constance

 

#3 Favorite Food

When it comes to food.

There's no doubt my favorite is

SEAFOOD!!!

hehehehe

Ok... Just normal seafood.

No TURTLE for me! 

XD

Love,

Constance

#2 Favorite Animal (and is not donkey)

So #2 is to draw favorite animal.

 Most of you might guess is a donkey since my favorite doll is Eeyore (a.k.a. Hong Hong).

BUT!

 Favorite doll does not mean favorite animal~

*hehehehehe*

My favorite animal is ... .... 

*drum roll~~~~~*

E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T!

hehehehehehehehehehehe~

Elephant iz so cute!!!!

I'm not a fan of real life donkey~ hehehe

Sorry~~

Love,

Constance

#1 draw yourself

I draw myself very often.

But most of them don't look the same cause my hairstyle keep changing.

*teehee*

29 more to go.

Let's do this!!!

Found this on pinterest and my heart jumped a bit!

And a voice shouted in my mind saying 

"YOU GOT TO DO THIS!"

And

...

...

...

...

*As Barney Stinson would say*

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!

source: Pinterest.com

Yup! is a 30 days drawing challenge!

But knowing that I will be travelling within this 30 days, Imma make some changes.

The days are counted according the days that I will be at home.

So if I'm travelling, I can postpone it!!!

Hehehehehe~

Is my challenge, so is my rules!

Butterflies in my stomach!

I've been super duper hyper this last few days.

I think even my neighbor at work is a little bit annoyed by me. LOL

WHO CARES!!!

I'm too happy already.

I couldn't help but to think what could have contributed to this sudden change of mine.

And I've concluded that it has to be one of the below:-

1) An assignment.

Last Friday, Hazel suddenly looked for my help for her assignment. Apparently she didn't record anything from her first interview and she was desperate for help. So I rushed to church to meet her after work.

We were suppose to start as soon as possible. But then, we didn't.

We end up talking about other things that have been on my mind for a while.

It felt soooo damn good to finally share these struggles with someone who listens and understands. 

Not only that, the assignment of her's open up a whole new world to me!

*singing~ a whole new world~~~~*

Because of what she told me, I started to see things differently now.

Thus, contributed to the "change".

Thank you Hazel!

*I told her we don't have a photo together for me to put up here and she sent me this!* 
LOL

2) A booth.

Last Saturday Oyan, Pearl and I opened a booth in church.

And as I've mentioned in my previous post (here) it was a great experience and a boost of self-confidence.

Never thought what I drew was good enough and never thought people will appreciate it.

And out of it, someone actually approach me to design their flier and name card.

I'm still very nervous + excited about it. But Imma just do my best and see how it goes!

3) A Proposal.

Someone got engaged!!!!!!!! 

WOOHOO!!

When I found out about the news, I was super excited and happy for them.

Even at this very moment that I'm still very excited for them.

I know, I know, is pretty much none of my business.

But is also none of your business that I'm happy for someone's engagement!

*unless you are that someone! XD*

4) A delivery.

Got this from the post office on Monday.


Totally didn't expect receiving it!

I e-mailed to get free book and I forgotten about it until I received it!

And the good news is, they did not just send me one but THREE books!!!! *AWESOME!*

5) A decision.

I think it was last Wednesday that  I've decided to get myself a tablet.

And with the help of Oyan, I got on Monday!!!

Love it so much! Although I'm still not very used to it, but all great things start small!

Can draw more and post it up here d!!! 

hehehehehehe

We are seriously selling these

Last year when I first started doing it, it was something spontaneous.

I made 2 and gave it to Oyan. (read here)

My mom read that post and decided to support me by buying 10 from me.

I was very happy.

Since then, Oyan keep encouraging me to sell it online but to me it was impossible.

Because who will go online to buy notebooks?

Besides, I don't really think I did a good job and I don't think that people will buy my "art".

So the idea of selling my notebooks was buried away.

Then came Christmas.

I did a few notebooks to give it as present.
To me, it is meaningful, useful and unique.

My CG members like it and they gave very encouraging responds.

So when Pearl talked about open booth last weekend, I told my CG members that Oyan actually suggested me to sell my notebooks.

And to my surprise, they were all very supportive and encouraging of the idea!

And so, I decided to go ahead.

But I was very nervous about it because I don't have no confidence at all.

I thought to myself, what if I fail?

Will people buy my notebooks?

Even until yesterday I still had this fear in my heart.

But Kevin Khoo said something that woke me up.

*Oyan told me things like this lots of time, but because we are so close, I always think that she's being kind.*

If no one buy, you don't lose anything. 

If someone buy, is a bonus.

Then only I realize, what am I afraid of?

I have nothing to lose.

So I went back home, and started preparing for the booth opening.

Which happened today.

I woke up early in the morning to do some last minute drawings because I have only a few notebooks in hand.

I managed to draw another 4 this morning before Oyan came by around 12 noon to pick me up.
I was still very nervous but I told myself

It doesn't matter. 
I'll gain experience.

We were there early to prepare and to work on our decoration.

While we were doing that, someone came by and we sold my FIRST notebook! 

I was speechless!

Then slowly, more and more people saw my artwork and I was super encouraged by them.

WOW!

You drew all these?!

It encourages me.

Someone even came to us and asked for a name card!
*Is this for real?*

... ... ... ... ...
*speechless*

THANK YOU!

to those that came and support!

THANK YOU!

to those that encouraged me!

THANK YOU!

to those who helped out!

THANK YOU!

to those who believed in me!

This girl really can sell stuff!

My QC!

The first 2 kids that bought my bookmarks!

My first customer

Me drawing

Last minute drawing number 1

Last minute drawing number 2

Last minute drawing number 3

It was fun.
And I thank God for the experience!

Love,

Constance

May SKY be the limit

We had a girl's night out yesterday night at Signature @ The Roof.

We celebrated Jan, Sophia and Sandra's birthday and also consider a farewell for Sophia before she go to SOT in a few weeks time.

I was dead tired at the end of the day.

So Imma just post some photos here.

I super love the environment there. I love how "nature" the setting is. All of the table is like super raw wood!
*forget to take pictures! Failed as a blogger*

But for me, I think they can choose better music. Some music are just too distracting!

The food was just ok. I ordered Aglio Olio because I think the one Oyan and I made was the best!
 I want to justify that! LOL

Still prefer the one we made based on Peggy's recipe.

*I think the only one can beat our's is Peggy's! LOL*

ღ

Let's talk about dreams. 

Some might say we need to be more realistic. Because if is too impossible, then no point having it because we will never be able to reach it.

Some say we need to think through it. Have a plan and plan it through.

All these are good. I'm not saying they are not. But I have to admit, my dream is big.  There's no limit to it and I don't really have any plan for it.

Why?

Let say the height of a tree is the limit to my dreams. So if I can visibly see the height of the tree, I would train myself, exercise and build some muscle so that I can one day climb that high.

That's nothing wrong to it. But I would be depending myself. Won't I?

Then, where is God in the picture?

I'm not saying I don't have to do anything, or work on my dreams.

If my dream is to be a cook, I will need to cook.

But what I'm trying to say is this, I don't force my way into it.

When there's a chance, I step into it.

When there's open door, I walk into it.

And when there's opportunity, I received it with open arms.

Too passive?

Maybe.

But I think it works for me.

Because I tried to plan for it, set targets to follow and I end up giving up even faster.

I know where I want to go and that's enough for me.

As for the question how, I really don't know.

I just feel like the only thing I need to do is whatever decisions I make from now onward should be in service of my dream.

Right?

Love, 

Constance

You've got INKED

If you read my blog long enough, you might have notice something different!

Yes? No? Maybe?

I've added a new page a few months ago!

And you might be wondering... WHAT'S THAT?

Just click on it.

It won't kill, bite or give your computer/laptop/tablet any viruses.

I promise.

Fine... If you are still scared, I'll show you what you'll see.

You'll see this.

Yup! this page is the almost full collection of the books that I've drawn!

*There are a few new ones that yet to be uploaded*

And yes as you can see, I'm doing this for a reason.

To raise funds for my Building Fund, which is the primary purpose now and if there's extra it will go to my secondary purpose.

Previously was for my Myanmar mission trip, but it's over so now I have a new wish list which I'm thinking to change. *hehe*

Anyway, would totally appreciate if you could show your support by commenting/liking/sharing the page.

I really need A LOT of encouragement!!!

Thanks!

Love,

Constance

Thank You, JESUS

I used to be very afraid of making mistake.

I would never look pass it. No matter how small it is.

I would try my best to correct it before anyone finds out.

But the more I try, the worst it gets.

So I try to hide it.

And act like everything is perfect. Even though is not.

And when it is exposed, I try to blame others.

It was tough to hide it all.

Because God knows I'm not perfect.

And I did something most people do.

I built a wall around me.

Because if no one can come in, no one can see things.

But it was lonely... and sad.

Until someone decided to make a change.

He taught me to break down the wall.

And let people see. Even though I'm still afraid.

But he told me is ok.

Because every mistakes, every past and every fear had been taken by Him.

And I no longer need to be afraid. Because He covers me.

Whatever fear and mistakes, I can just give it to him.

And I need to live for Him only.

Thank you Jesus.

Love,

Constance