All jumbled up

This might sound weird, but I always wanted to keep my friends in their "own categories".

You know the famous quote for investment? 

Never put all your eggs in the same basket.

I applied it to my social life.

I have this insecurity for them to intersect each other.

I think is because I need a "safe zone".

If I have any disagreement with my church friends, I can “find refuge” with my University friends.

Vise versa.

In a way, it's "safer" and I'll never be alone.

Because of this, I can be a bit "mysterious" or disconnected with each of them.

I don't share my work life with my friends, and I don't share my private life with my colleagues.

I hide different things from them.

And I "hide" them from each other.

The fact that I had so many blogs proves how much I fear letting everyone knowing everything.

One of the main reason I keep changing my blog URL is because there's someone from a certain "category" was reading and I don't want that.

And as you can see, living life the way I had was pretty miserable. 

I think I had this hidden fear that people will gather around and criticism me behind my back.

Then, I had this revelation.

That one day all of us will be in heaven and we are all one big family.

So, why should I keep them away from each other?

And I’ve come to learn to look past other’s ridicule and criticism

Because is out of my control. [read here]

Besides, God is the ultimate judge.

Whatever people thinks or says about me doesn't matter.

*Is easy for me to say, but is hard to apply it in life.* 

I'm trying my very best.

I will never be perfect, but constantly on the road to perfection.

I don't have to hide my dreams from my colleagues.

I don't have to hide my frustration from my church friends.

I don't have to hide my reckless ambitious from my university friends.

And most importantly, I don't have to hide them from each other.

Together, they form my world.

And so, this was my first time sharing about my work and dream to church through a short interview with Fuzzy Logic.

I even shared what's my dream.
Honestly I struggled when I saw this question, because only a few in this world knew about it.

I'm slowly breaking down the wall I've built.

And now...

p.s: They are having another batch of SSFuzzyLogic Volume 4. Do grab it tomorrow while stock lasts!