More and more ink!

These are some of my art for the past week.

And this is fresh from the oven!

Just drew this for Yunn Min. 

More to come.

:]

When will you be a Cell Group Leader?

Last weekend was a pretty meaningful weekend for our church. (In case you are wondering, I'm rooted in City Harvest Church Kuala Lumpur.)

Other than having our pledge weekend for our 8th Arise and Build, Pastor also took this opportunity to announce the new Zone/Sub Zone/Cell Group structure of our church. 

He introduces all the Zone Leaders, Subzone Leaders and Cell Group Leaders on stage. Is pretty awesome to see all the leaders who are the backbone of our church and getting the whole church to pray for them.

Stolen from Adele Chow's FB

After service, someone asked me "So, when are you going to be a Cell Group Leader (CGL)?" I looked at her, shocked to hear that question but I laughed and said "Impossible for it to happen in the near future."

Ok. Just in case I presented it wrongly, I wasn't offended by the question and my respond was sincere. Because I really don't see myself being a cell group leader (yet, if ever).

But to be honest, if this question had been asked years ago, I would be bitter because back then I wanted to be a CGL. I still remember it clearly how badly I wanted to be in the leader's team. I always admire those who share the Word of God and always in the "inner circle" of the leadership team. And on top of that, I love love love preaching/ sharing the Word of God.

Long long long ago, I always imagine myself preaching and sharing God's word. When I'm listening to someone preaching, I will imagine myself sharing the same message in my own unique style. Sometimes, I even go to the extend of re-writing a message that I heard over the weekend! A bit crazy, I know!

I just love the image of me sharing from the bible and everyone else have to keep quiet and listen. I love the idea of how awesome it will be to speak words that impact people's life. Owh! Being a CGL was my dream!

But boy were I naive back then! Being a CGL is not merely about preaching! But is to be a shepherd to all sort of sheep. Fat sheep, skinny sheep, OKU sheep, black sheep, you just name it and you will have it!

A CGL need to take care of all the different needs from different people. The demand comes from all sort of sizes and colors. And the best thing is, it will come whenever they like. Morning la, afternoon la, evening la, night la, during your honey moon la. There's no limit to it!

And if you have a member like me, you'll probably need a very good insurance just in case of any heart attacks! 

I spoke to leaders who are not disappointed but heart-broken by their members. I see them giving all their time and energy to talk and "just-be-there" for their members. I see them loving and loving again no matter how painful it might be. 

CGL is not a title. Is not just someone who comes every week to share from the bible (which is not easy also) and say bye bye. But CGL is someone who walk with others all the time. They are constantly giving yet never gives up. They are those who keep loving and risk having their heart broken again. To be a good CGL is not easy, is not like playing masak-masak or play-doh. Is even more hardcore than a mission trip to Myanmar.

To those CGLs out there, I respect you guys a lot. Forgive me as I never knew how hard it is until I saw the tears in your eyes. Thank you for giving, loving and all your sacrifices.

To those who hate CGLs. I've been there, done that and almost made a movie out of it. Is really not easy to be a CGL. And just think about it, they don't have to do it yet they took the responsibility on their shoulder and try their best. No one is perfect, just like us.

As for the big question whether I want to be a CGL. My answer will be:

"Yes, if God's grace is upon me!"

Seriously, is not easy!

Love,

Constance

Your wings around me

Your hands around me.

The Naked, Imperfect me.

I have this image in mind when I was worshiping God in church and I decided to draw it out.

I never knew I love drawing this much. 

I mean, yes, when I was younger I do draw, but I don't recall people praising me or anything. I just remember my dad once said my drawing was childish. Haha!

Yes, I don't really draw perfect drawings. But I just love to draw and sketch what is in my mind.

There's this saying that a picture speaks a thousand words. Maybe that's the reason I love drawing so much.

I can never describe in words how safe I feel in the presence of God. 

So I draw.

I don't think my drawings are perfect. But perfection is overrated. Don't you think ?

If I keep only do something because I can do it perfectly, then I will never ever dare to step out and try new things.

Fear of comments and criticism has stopped me from many things.

I'm learning to face it and not let it stop me!

I don't think fear can be totally eliminated from life, but I think we should just learn to live with it.

Love,

Constance

A bad hair dream

You know you are too obsess about something when you started to dream about it.

 

I've been thinking about cutting my hair short for so long, I think I become a little bit obsess about it.

I had this dream, NO! I think the more appropriate word is "nightmare".

I had this nightmare where I came to my limit and could not take it anymore. At that moment, I decided to cut my hair by MYSELF!

And man, I'm not good in styling my hair in reality or in dream. Because the outcome of my "brave" move was disaster! My hair (in my dream nightmare) became like this!

No fridge in front

weird shape at the back

I tell you (and I'm not lying) when I woke up from that dream nightmare, the first thing I do is touch my hair to make sure is still there and long. ><

What a nightmare!

But I really can't wait to get my hair cut! Maybe next month! hehe

Love,

Constance

Let's talk about my JOB

Started my new job about 2 months ago. Within this period of time, there's so much to learn and observe. I got to know more in details what is expected from me and I've learn to blend into this new working environment.

Here are the few things I like about my current job.

Location

My office is super duper near my house. Is around 5 minutes driving distance if I don't need to drop-off my sister. So I drive back to my house to have lunch every single day. Although some might say is a waste of petrol (and petrol price increased already), but is still cheaper than eating outside. My colleague did ask me to heat up my food in the office (yes! we can cook simple food in the office!) but I don't want to due to hygiene purposes.


If you know what I mean.

Working Hours

I work from 8:30 a.m. till 5:00 p.m. from Monday to Friday. Is shorter compared to my previous companies. And I seldom need to work over time and that's a big plus for me cause I still have time to jog, cook and rest before going to church meetings at 8.00 p.m.

  

Environment

I love the working environment here because is both relaxing and private. As an introvert, I need my own space from time to time. Sometimes I just want to hide in my own little world and be quiet with my thoughts. And I can do that here! No one will mind my business as long as I gets my job done!

Attire

I HATE wearing formal! I hate it so much until I refuse to get more of it even though I need to wear formal in my previous company. I only got more because my mom was nagging me about it. >< But now, I can wear t-shirts and jeans to work. I can put on my comfy puma and don't need to have those awkward moments where I need to change to heels when there's clients. XD

Culture

My past working experience are gained from corporate world. I hated it so much because to me, I felt meaningless. Some people find their fulfilment from working in the corporate world but I'm not one of them. So when I come to this company, I have a cultural shock! The company is so Christ cantered. We have devotion and prayer meeting every week! I love it so much!

Opportunities

My head of department gives me a lot of opportunities based on what she observed from me. Big yeah to that! Looking forward to it!

Although there's some bump along the way but I really like my job here.

Meaningful, flexible and comfortable.

Love,

Constance

Back to school?

I've started working since last December. Although this job is not exactly what I signed up for, but I was exposed to a lot of different area of a business. Which got me thinking if this really what I want to do for life? Is this my passion?

So after some self seeking and self reflecting, I'm pretty sure that this is not what I want to do and I want to explore some other options. And one thing came in mind, this thing that had been with me since I'm young but I never really invest time and effort in. This thing that gives me joy like none other. WRITING.

I started searching around for writing jobs but I gave up cause I feel that without any certification, no one will be that daring to hire me. So I decided that I shall go back to school!

But what should I study? What should I take? After some survey, I decided to study Mass Communication. But the thought of going back to University as a full time students scares me. I have to do assignments and sit for exam again. Not forgetting that I will be the oldest in class and I have to pay for the fees!

So I started praying. I pray for financial break through so that I can pay the fees myself and do not have to burden anyone. But then God works very differently, instead of giving me lots of money, He expose me some other options. 

So I came to realize that there is such thing call part-time studies. The best thing is the school is near my place! Yeah!!! So I'm gonna be a student soon! Excited!!!

Try

If you live under the same roof with me, you probably will get sick of this song by now. Because this is the only song that I listen to day and night and I keep on singing this song.

I first heard of this song in Facebook when my friend share it on her wall. I didn't fell in love with it that time. But thanks to some one, I'm hooked to this song.

I like this song a lot! I love how the singer was scared to commit into the relationship, he was unsure how the girl will respond. Although full of uncertainty, he decided to take a chance in this relationship and try for the girl's love. Don't you think is sweet?

peek through the door

Wanted to talk about something else today but leader's meeting was longer than I thought. So I think I'll write about it tomorrow or maybe this weekend. Suddenly all my time slot is packed and I'm planning to slot more things in! I feel like something I'm going to break free! And with this thought, I was inspired to draw the bellow drawing!

I've been in this comfort, protected shell for long enough and I'm willing and starting to breakdown the wall that hinders me to go fourth. It does not guarantee success, but it guarantees adventure! And that's what I'm looking forward too!

I talked to one of my SOT friend last few nights and I ask her what are my shortcoming. And she said this: 

You see! I'm a weird mix! When I don't know that person I'm seem like a serious person and hard to get along, hide my feelings and shut the door to my world. But on the other hand, I always show people how I feel, no matter who they are! So people will often think me as hot tempered and unfriendly...  ><

With that in mind, I have this picture came into my mind and I drew it out!

Don't you think knowing someone new is like letting the person coming into your life? And you got to be careful who you let into that door! Because they might just steal something and leave you feeling empty. Or they might just break your stuff and act like nothing happen and leave. So is tough! Is not easy! And that's why I peak out of the door and not open it before I know them better.

Oh well, still more to discover about myself!

So I shall end this with a picture of my Hong watching iPad! hahahahahaha~

What's the key to success?

If you know what I mean.

Hotel Roomies

During our Genting trip last week, 4 of us shared a room and all of us have our own sleeping patterns. Can you relate to any of the below?

The worst bed mate you can ever have is "The King", it will be like you have no bed at all and you are forced to be "The Pity". "The Miserable" is the worst to be, because no one is causing your insomnia you just cannot get used to the environment. And the best is of course "The Pig", sleep soundly by herself and will not disturb others! Best roomie and bed mate ever!!!

Can you guess which one is me? 

Every Morning

I go through this "5 more minutes" with my sister every morning. LOL. Pity her, have to wake me up every morning and the process is getting harder and harder. Sometimes after she wakes me up again, I will request for another 2 minute. >< Becoming more and more like a pig!!!

I've tried changing this, but FAILED! Got to try harder again.

Ka Pow!!!!!

If you will react as above, please stop reading this. ><

I seldom weight myself, but I know I slimmed down when my pants became looser. And my shirt also. I think this is the after effect of being sicked for the past few weeks. Not a good sign at all!!! But then this is a free pass for me to eat even more!! wakakakaka!

Earth Hour - FAILED!

Yes, I'm guilty for not supporting earth hour this year. The truth is, I totally forget about it and was watching anime until my sis told me around 9 p.m. So as an effort to show my support, I went around the apartment to off all the lights. But minutes later my mom and my sis switch them back on because they say they can't see. ><

So I forget, I tried and I failed. Oh well, I shall save the earth some other time! haha.

If you've been following me on my instagram, you would have figure out that I'm very in to sketching/doodling/drawing (call it whatever that you like) lately. Thanks to Black Sesame I found this new love of mine. Been drawing for a week already and started to record my daily thoughts and life through drawing.  I posted 2 of it in my previous post. You can catch more of it in my instagram! So do follow me @sqlim !

One last thing! I've join a blog competition for the first time of my life! I know my chance of winning is very thin, but then please show me some support and vote for me please?? Pretty pretty please!!!!!

Sometimes I'm just curios if anyone is reading my blog, because I never receive any comments! hahaha. Hello?!!! Anyone here?!!!

Things That I Do #3

The other day when my sister was driving us home, I saw this guy beside us using his phone while driving. Is not like he is on the phone or anything, is like he is scrolling through FB or Instagram. I open up my window and did exactly what I drew. >< But apparently he din't heard me, or else I think I will be whacked. Ok la... I din't shout at him, just say it as if he just beside me.

But still, I really cannot take it when people use their phone while driving, even is a short while it can cause accident. And the road is a main road with lots of cars, really very dangerous. Even if you don't appreciate your life, I do. So please all drivers out there! Stop using your phone while you are driving!!!

No Music No Strength

This is how I look without music:

And this is how I look with music:

Somehow I came to a point where I do not have any energy if I don't listen to music in the morning. A lot of people think that listening music will make them be inefficient. But to me is the opposite. No Music No Strength!

I do not have any songs in my iPhone. So I started with a familiar song in youtube, then I randomly clicked on the suggested videos and I found some very very nice songs from some bands.

One of them and now my favorite is Passenger! I like their lyrics, their melody and the way they record their music. 

"Let Her Go" caught my love by its lyrics and "A Thousand Matches" caught my attention with the way it is recorded but its lyrics is beautiful as well.

Hear it for yourself!

Passenger - Let her go

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much

And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

And you let her go

Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Passenger - A thousand matches

Lying on the mattress ‘cause my friend’s crazy sister took my bed away,

Sleeping, she looked like an actress, a theory I didn’t practice, I said “There’s gotta be a better way”.

She said: “You light a thousand matches when you finally set fire when you run away,

So why’d you go and do it when you knew that you would go and I would stay.

I hit the wall in frustration the conversation had been circling for days,

She said: “Don’t take it out on him, for the wall has always been supportive in the best of ways.

We’re laughing and crying like mad men dying in the snow,

For just one second it was funny that she would have to stay and I would go.

She said” I love you know I love you so; when you love someone well you’ve got to let them know.”

And I said:” Nothing’s changed I love you the same, but when you love someone sometimes you gotta let them go.”

She handed me a stone in the perfect shape of a heart,

She said:” I’m gonna take this home for I know you’ll only lose it somewhere after dark,

‘Cause some faces so terribly seem to lose everything you own.”

She didn’t mean it how it sounded, what she meant was she would stay and I would go

I said:” I love you know I love you so; when you love someone well you’ve got to let them know

She said: “Nothing’s changed I love you the same, but when you love someone sometimes you gotta let them go”

Sometimes you tear it all apart, to see the wood from the trees.

Sometimes you break your own heart to set yourself free.

I walked her to the station, hesitation in our movements and our tongue,

Words finally left after realized how uncomfortable they’ve grown.

What you want and what you need, well they seldomly succeed to grow.

We reluctantly agreed that when you love someone, you’ve got to let them go.