Letters to God

Normal people write diary.
But I’m not normal.

Therefore I write letters, letters to God.

I write to God almost everyday.
I miss somedays when I’m travelling, I miss somedays when I’m too tired.
Some of the letters are long, some have just a few sentences because I’m too tired to keep writing.

To date, I’ve filled 2 notebooks with all those letters.

Few days ago, I decided to take out my first book and read through the letters.
I noticed somethings had changed but somethings remain.

God answered a few of my prayers.

He took away something that I didn't wanted.
He gave me courage to do things that He placed in my heart.
He gave me freedom to be myself as He created.
He gave me boldness to share the change He had brought into my life.
He gave me strength to fight the unknown battles within me.
He gave me wisdom to face doubts, questions and uncertainty.
He gave me comfort, peace and love when I’m alone with Him.

There are a lot  of things that I yet to get answer from God.

There are a lot of plans that didn’t happen as expected.
There are still a lot of things in me that are WIP since the very beginning.
But I know He is good.

I know and see the work He had been doing.
Though I don’t deny that sometimes I hope He can work quicker and make things happen in a blink of an eye.
But God is not like that, He does not only want things to change, He wants to change it with me.

I’ll be honest here, a lot of times I doubted God.
If He is so good, why aren’t things changing?
If He is so great, why aren’t things happening?
If He is really here with me, why is the journey so hard?

But time like this I remind myself that I cannot put my experience above who God say He is.

He is good, He is great, He is here.

I’m waiting for the day when I can look back to all that I’m going through and say “ah! It was good! It was all good.”