The hall seems a little empty without all the chairs around.
The band was in the middle of the hall and not on the stage.
It felt like one of the Strictly Students Service.
There were tables with papers and crayons at the side of the hall, and 2 big drawing stand just next to the band.
It felt like Bethel worship night.
I knew what was going on, Shirley and David want all of us to use our gifts.
If you see a painting, you paint.
If you see a drawing, you draw.
If you see a poem or you have a word, you write it down.
It was going to be a time of Praise and Worship like never before.
I struggle with the setting.
Is not something I’m used to.
So instead of mingling around before all it started, I went pass everyone walked to the back and talked to God.
Our conversation was something like this.
God: Why are you hiding here?
Me: I don’t know, I’m not use to it… I’m scared.
God: But is going to be fun, you know right?
Me: I know… But…
God: For me okay? Don’t worry. I’m here with you.
So I walked down to look at what was prepared.
Before I knew it, Prayer Meeting was about to start and Shirley asked us to hug one another.
I quickly turn my way around, hugged Kevin, Sylas and then run towards Jan so that I can avoid hugging other people.
Jan had a good laugh at me when she knew why I did that.
Then, the Prayer Meeting begins.
I totally forgotten what song we sang yesterday.
I was jumping, clapping and worshipping God during the first 2 songs like normal.
And when the band usher us into the 3rd song, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I wanted to kneel down.
I always struggle with God before I kneel down.
I will tell Him things like “ok, after this.” or “ok, after they start singing.”
But this time I totally lost that battle, I told Him I would kneel down once they start singing, but His presence was so strong I couldn’t hold it anymore and I kneel down crying.
I went from my knees on the floor to my face on the floor.
The presence of God was so strong, I can’t even sing a single word.
God was amazing, He just kept pouring more and more of His presence that I couldn’t handle.
At one point, I stood up thinking that I will worship standing.
But God wasn’t done with me yet, He brought me down again with His presence.
This time, I squad down and tears started pouring down.
My mind was still pretty alert and I was just telling God how much I need Him.
God, I am nothing without You.
God I need more of you.
I’m not going to stand until I have more of you.
Lord, please don’t ever leave me because I can’t live without you.
Jesus!! Jesus!! Jesus!!
But God wanted me to be quiet for a moment.
So that He can speak to me for a while.
Is time to release.
I am not done with you yet.
I finally got hold of myself, and an image came to mind.
So I went to one of the table and drew it out with crayons and I wrote a whole chunk of words behind it.
While doing this, God is still messing with me with His presence.
I end up kneeling down and crying while drawing!
It was AWESOME!
I went to the back with my heart overflowing with joy and I started singing and smiling.
In the beginning of the Prayer Meeting, I felt God wanted me to pray for 2 specific people.
I prayed for one while the praise and worship was going on and another when Shirley asked us to pray for one another.
Someone asked me before why am I not afraid when I pray for people.
Am I not afraid that I will pray wrongly or inaccurately?
Actually, I don’t really care!
hahahaha!
Okay.
Let me see how to explain this nicer.
At the end of the day, the words I prayed over them is word of life and not curse.
So there’s really nothing to be afraid of.
If is not accurate, then I’ll try again next time.
Is really not a big deal.
And I believe, even if I’ve prayed wrongly it doesn't really matters.
Because my prayer is not greater than God.
So whatever happens, God still have the final say.
So why worry?
Most importantly
I would risk being “wrong” rather than not pleasing God.
Sorry, I digress.
At the end of the prayer meeting, I was really overflowing with joy.
Ready to leave and maybe grab a burger before heading home, I bumped into different people and started talking to them.
I totally forgotten the sequence of all these moments but it doesn’t really matters la!
I was fooling around with Kevin, Melissa and Pearl.
Which I totally enjoyed!
Went and took my drawing.
Showed it to a few person and end up giving it to Pearl.
She said I draw like a little kid because I act like a little kid.
LOL. Make sense yo!
Kelvin saw me with Hazel and he told me that he got something to tell me.
I was like, what o? Don’t scare me le!
He said he felt like I had experiences and I’ve been very comfortable with where I am right now, is time to step out so that people around me can experience what I’ve experienced.
When Hazel heard this, she was like “ah! the same word again!”
I was still very confuse.
The stepping out part is pretty familiar.
I think Hazel prayed this for me before too.
Though is the same word again, but I never knew which area of my life God was speaking about.
At first, the word 'experience' sounds very negative to me.
Like bad experiences in life.
But when he said that so that people around me can experience what I’ve experienced, I know what he meant.
So I asked Kelvin whether is the one that we talked about.
And after a while he said it makes sense.
But I wasn’t ready to do anything about it yet.
I’m still waiting for the “special moment” from God. LOL.
Then I talked to Hazel about this.
I also told her God had been reminding me about what she prayed for me earlier this year.
And she told me to talk to Shirley.
Reluctantly I did.
Know this, I am super comfortable with where I am right now.
And for me to step out again, is not easy.
Is actually pretty scary for me.
And is not like He told me specifically.
But I guess, at the end of the day, I just need to step out and take a step of faith.
*phew*
I finally left the hall after several attempts and I did get my burger on the way home!
It was really an amazing night.
And I am still overflowing with Joy now.
Thank you Jesus!
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