4 Days 3 Nights Solo trip to Bangkok

I’m so happy that I can finally kiss "SOLO trip” goodbye  from my bucket list.

After going through a storm in the beginning of my trip due to my passport having less than 6 months validity , whatever that happened afterwards was nothing less than a miracle.

Every time the reality of me being there alone just felt unbelievable and remarkable. I’ve lost count the number of times I just stood in the middle of no-where feeling in awe that I am there.

With the transition that is happening in my career and the struggles in relationships, I needed a place to just breath. I couldn’t stand waking up every single day trying to fill the seconds with the things I think I need to do and leave my feeling and my heart untouched. I know there’s a giant in me that need to be taken down.

One of the reasons I choose to go Bangkok during the weekend is because of ECB. This is a must go place for both me and Oyan whenever we are there. The presence of God was so strong and I felt like I’m home during their praise and worship.When service ended, I went out, talked to Pastor David King and he prayed for me.

Remain in a posture which God can freely give and take away.

I kept reminding myself this. And it somehow lifted a burden up from me. 

I do not need to struggle or fake myself just because I want something to remain as it is or want it in a certain way. I should and am able to just be myself and let things run their own course. 

As long as I do my best, as long as I give it my all, whatever happens, happens and I shall have no regrets.

Putting myself out there is not easy. Because it means the possibility of being hurt again and again. But I guess such is life. To be alive is the readiness to die. If alive is what I strive for, I should then battle with death.

There was also a lot of question in my mind when I leave my beloved country. The ideal result would be me sorting out all my troubles with God in solitude and come back with a lighter heart.

But as I walk on the streets of Bangkok, surrounded by the colours and noise of the nightlife excitement, my mind was flooded with questions. As all these questions were knocking me down, the only person that came to mind was Keith. 

I need to talk to Keith.

I need to talk to Keith.

I guess, positioning myself in front of a friend and asking him questions that I normally don’t discuss with anyone is also part of the process of growing up. 

The joy of being able to go solo does not only derive from the fact that I’ve conquered my fear but also discovering myself a little more and loving myself a little better.

Next destination? New Zealand!