Baa baa baa

Is one of those nights again where silence is appreciated and sleep became irrelevant.

Though I have embrace an “I don’t care” attitude, but sometimes I can’t shake the guilt feeling when others show disapproval of my characteristic and my attitude.

I try to flip through the good book in my mind and I asked myself if I’ve fooled myself in believing that is ok to be the way that I am.

No questions are directly answered. Because the good book is not a reference book to judge what is right or wrong. Rather, it is a book that reveals my Daddy God to me.

So what went wrong? I don’t know.

And I started to ask Daddy God.

Then He gave me an answer He always gave. 

Those that are out of your control, surrender it to me.

Come to think of it, that’s the basis of my “I don’t care” attitude. 

Because no point caring those things that are out of my control.

Then the more I talk to Daddy God, the more I feel like a sheep.

Yes, a sheep.

Sheep have no real sense of direction. That’s me.

Sheep are quite helpless against predators. That’s me.

Sheep left alone will actually eat themselves into a lost place. That’s me.

Sheep are week. That’s me.

Sheep get dirty easily. That’s me.

Sheep require more care than any other livestock. That’s me.

Sheep are timid and easily panicked. That’s me.

It says that sheep are also gregarious, social creatures that do better in number.

I don’t think this applies to me. Because most of the time, I LOVE to be left alone. 

Is easier! LOL. 

But thank God for Him, because He is always there for me.

He helps me to make sense of things that doesn’t make sense to me.

He helps me to see things in another perspective and comfort me at the same time.

Though sometimes I act like a clingy little brat in front of Him, He is perfectly fine with it.

That’s why I love Him so much.

He allows me to be true to myself and to Him.

I do not need to pretend or withhold myself from being ME to please Him.

Because He is pleased when I am real to Him.

I wonder why people feel offended instead when I’m just being real.

Oh well~~ Daddy God say because we are all human.