If people think that my decision to go Bangkok for 12 days is an easy decision, they are so freaking wrong!
Because at this very moment I still couldn’t believe that I will be flying off to Bangkok in 10 hours time and will be there for freaking 12 days WITHOUT ANY PLAN!
I must have lost my mind when I did that decision back then.
God oh God!
To say we have zero plans might be a little too exaggerated.
We do have in mind places that we want to go and things that we want to do.
But to be filled up our 12 days there seems to be impossible.
Seriously, I need to go back in time, find that girl that made this decision and let her shout at me so that I can get some of her courage and faith.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I afraid?
Not really.
I’m very excited AND very very nervous.
As I written on my calendar this is my “by faith” trip.
We felt a burden to go back Bangkok, so we go.
I keep reminding myself that as Peter gave Jesus by stepping out of the boat, Jesus gave Peter the experience of walking on the water.
This is us, stepping out of the boat.
ARGHHHHHHHHH
SO EXCITED!
And God have been super amazing by proving again and again that His plan is perfect.
Our schedule fit perfectly with Oyan’s upcoming mission trip to Chiang Mai.
And really by God’s amazing grace, I totally avoided my office upcoming renovation!
I don’t have to suffer and work in a dusty office.
I don’t have to reset my workstation every week to accommodate the renovation schedule!
All my colleagues gave me the stare when my HOD announced this in our weekly meeting!
I thank God I dodge the bullet!
Well~ dust bullets! XD
Oh! And some one even gave us a small little ang pao to bless our trip!!!
So blessed~~~~~~
Honestly speaking, the reality of this trip only sank in yesterday.
My things were all around the house and I wasn’t doing well in packing all my stuff.
Until now I still feel that there’s something that I missed out.
But I just couldn’t think what it is.
This type of uneasy, is a good type of uneasy.
I forever will not forget there is once in Singapore when I’m in SOT, the bad type of uneasiness sank in.
That time I was naïve enough to brush it off and it caused me a lot of trouble!
So now, every time I have that uneasy feeling, I use that as a benchmark.
This excitement is like you’re going on a first date with someone you like.
Or the feeling you get when you know you get to see your favorite celebrity.
Is a good type of butterfly in my stomach.
Is good butterfly.
:]
And since I decided not to sleep.
Let me do even more verbal vomit here!
Recently I can’t help but to realize that I’ve changed so much within these 2 years.
After I came back from SOT, there’s so many things that I wanted to do but did not have the opportunities.
But now, 2 years later offers were made, but I turn it down.
SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! I SAY NO!!!!!
If you have asked the same question and offer the same thing to me 2 years ago, I will say yes with the excitement that I have by saying no today.
How time changes a person.
Is amazing!
I would not deny that I’ve changed a lot during these 2 years.
I somehow know myself a bit better, and God had brought me closer by His amazing grace.
The journey wasn’t easy.
I remember there was this period of time where my life was just filled with darkness.
There were a lot of questions and uncertainty about life, about God.
But God have never left me, He saved me from my darkest days.
He spoke life to me in my darkest thought.
And finally after a year, I saw a shimmering light out of that dark dark tunnel.
A lot of people help me through this season.
Shirley, Jan and Hazel.
Then while I’m still amazed by the glory of the light, people like Kevin, Pearl and my sister gave me the courage and support to explore further.
Looking back now, those 2 years doesn’t seem very long.
But I remember living that 2 years wasn’t easy at all.
But God is good.
He always is.
His my Father.
And I’m His princess.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Counting down!!!!!!!
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