Why can't I be myself?

One question has been popping up in my mind lately.

“Why can’t I be myself?” 

This is not a question to demand others to let me be myself. 

But this is a question I asked myself when I’m not being “myself” in different situation.

For example, when I’m talking to Oyan I can easily convey what I’m trying to convey and most of the time she gets what I mean.

But when I’m talking to someone else about the same issue, I can be speechless.

And in front of certain people I can confidently be myself. 

Be bubbly, talkative, joking around and making a fool out of myself.

But when some other people appear, I would be quiet. 

Awkwardly awkward and just couldn’t get myself together. 

And times like that make me ask myself this question.

“Why am I not being myself?”

Then God told me this. 

“This IS you.”

I’m LOUD.

I’m quiet.

I’m CONFIDENT.

I’m insecure.

I’m JOYFUL.

I’m emotional.

I’m SOCIABLE.

I’m anti-social.

The very essence of me is not being constant in every situation and every second of my life.

But the essence of me includes the quirkiness of mine that God in some way find it interesting.

I might not be the same to everybody, but that’s still me.

It is in me that I find it uncomfortable to talk to someone.

It is in me that I need God to be my confidence and security.

It is in me that I need time to sort out my emotions.

It is in me that I need time to be alone.

I am still me!
I'm learning to embrace ME.

:)