Is 12:36 a.m.

I’m suppose to get some sleep but I feel obligated to write something right now, right here.

I feel obligated not because I have to write something, obligated because I need to get things out of my chest.

I don’t know when I started acting the way I am now.

Maybe there isn’t any specific time or incident can be pin pointed.

Maybe is a series of different incidents over the time that shape me to who I am today.

But I find relationship tiring.

I find dealing with people nerve-racking and I find life complex when others are involved.

Today, I wanted to do something.

My intention was to use my talent and help them out.

But who knows a simple miscommunication bring them even more trouble.

I know is really not a big deal.

I do not like to bring others trouble let alone my intention was to help them.

Why! Why! Why!

I apologized.

But it felt like my apologies just faded into thin air.

I felt helpless and misunderstood.

All I wanted at that very moment was a hug, a shoulder to let me cry a little.

Then there is this someone that is just too unique for me to figure it out.

For a while we can talk to each other, but the next second I’m invisible.

What is happening?!

Can someone just enlighten me?

Life can be simple.

You just have to give me a good book, leave me alone on an isolated island and I’ll be a happy girl.

But life is complex.

It is complex because different people are involved.

It is complex because we are all emotional being.

I really don’t know is because of my hormones or what.

But I really want all this to end.

I need all these to end.

Bangkok, wait for me.