End too soon

This short short trip to Singapore is actually my first overseas trip with Oyan.

Have it short

Is the battle of my life AGAIN!

To keep it long or cut it short.

I only had long hair once and it was years ago.

During my secondary school days.

And when I join University, I decided to cut it short.

And since then, my hair gets shorter and shorter and shorter.

This is the evolution of my hair:: 

Now, I'm on the impossible mission of keeping my hair long AGAIN.

 

But the current length is a bit frustrating.

My hair curls up and it looks disgusting.

Not forgetting the constant need of picking up hair on the floor.

To be honest, I'm a bit frustrated and impatient about this.

*Believe it or not, I have to constantly sweep away my hair from the table while drawing this*

 

So I decided to cut my hair SHORT!

in the near future... hahahaha

Since I look good in BOTH long and short hair! XD

Love,

The constantly in battle Constance

 

Truth or lies

Talked to someone the other day and found out something that I never thought happened.

Is not the first time I heard about it, but I guessed I refused to believe what was told.

Does it affect me?
Yes. In a way it does.

Does it make a very big difference knowing the truth?
I don't know.

I've been thinking about it for a while already.

Although is not a bad thing, but is still a lie.

The thing that matters now is not about the lie anymore.
But how will I react towards it.

Honestly speaking, I'm pretty neutral about it.

At the end of the day. I spoke the truth, and they have to answer to God.

Period.

Screw your beautifully wrapped lies and hand me the ugly truth!

Truths are ugly because they are hidden. If they were never in the dark before, it won't be ugly at all. But more beautiful than the welly wrapped lies. #justsaying

Love,
Constance

Thanks Doc!

If you read this, you will know one of the amazing thing that happened to me recently is I've learn how to digitize my sketches/drawing/ doodling. (Call it whatever you like)

For this, I have non other but Doctor Xun Jin to thank for. Because during mission trip I somehow found out he can draw and he somehow found out I sketch too. So he actually encouraged me to try digitizing my sketches. And I glad that he did!

This is his work. He send the original sketch and the printed out photo to me by mail. *touched*

He also send me his softcopy files so that I can have a look and learn how to do it.

I'm trying my best to do according to his way, but then I really don't know how to use "colour range" so I ended up creating my own steps.

This is my first digitize picture:-

before

after

I'm still trying to figure out how to make my digitized drawing nicer and how to do it faster, but in the meantime I just use whatever way that I think it might work.

Other than blogging and sketching, digitizing my sketches is one of the few things that can make me sit still and shut up! LOL

Although I digitize a few after the first one, the broken heart one is still my favorite. Maybe is because that's the best sketch I ever did so far.

✈

On a other super unrelated note, Sandra, Sharon and Jan celebrated my birthday yesterday! Sandra was generous enough to bring me to Jogaya @ Starhill.

They really have a lot of food there! I was busy eating therefore there isn't any photo to share here! LOL

But the food wasn't the thing I enjoyed the most but the fellowship. We just had fun talking about stuff and getting to know each other better.

I will always remember the Tina moment! XD

Here's some picture I stole from their Instagram.

Feel so blessed! Thanks again!

Love,

Constance

[Behind the Scene] CHCKL Emerge Preach It!

As mentioned in my previous post, I won second place for Preach It! in the Leader's category. Many were happy for me, but few knew about the "behind the scene" story.

I was nervous about this competition since Friday morning. The pressure of the competition hit me during Thursday night CG when Shirley mentioned about it. I had butterflies in my stomach from Friday morning until the competition is over. I thought I was having my period. >< But it turns out, is my body reacting to all the stress!

On Friday night, I think I add on more stress to myself by choking myself with all the bible verses and studying different parables. But I thank God that while studying one of the parable, I actually felt the presence of God and cried like a baby. It was one of the parable Pastor Tan shared during prayer meeting last year. And for fun, I use it to practice for the competition. And half-way preaching to my computer screen, I actually teared. >< God is good. He is indeed GOOD!

I started my "express" bible study from 8 p.m. till 1:30 a.m. I wanted to continue but my mind was blank and my eyes could not stand it anymore. I went to bed took a few hours rest and then woke up at 6 a.m. to do some studying again.

And to let you know how stress I were, around one hour after I went to bed, I had a really really bad dream and I woke up feeling stress! >< And my tummy was super duper un-comfy too! What a unglamorous way of reacting to stress!

Fast forward to the Preach It! competition. Honestly speaking I wasn't happy with my performance. Not because I didn't win it, but because I didn't really preach it!

I did some self-evaluation after the competition and my conclusion is this:-

I was too self-conscious that I forgotten to let go and Let GOD.

I was too quick to just write down what I think I should preach rather than what God want to reveal through the parable. I wanted to prove myself and missed the opportunity to let the Holy Spirit use me. Aiks... And I end up being very nervous!

I took some time meditating on the parable, and I felt God revealed the way He wanted me to preach it. But too bad, I missed the chance, don't know when I will have the chance to share this with others.

But on the bright side, sis's CG member was blessed by my message. He say he almost cried. >< God can still move even though I messed up! Maybe what God want me to learn is this:-

Is really not about how good I am, but whether He show up or not.

God is GOOD! So next time I must worry less and just Let GOD worry.

Thank you all for your support! Sophia, Steven, Jan, Shirley, Hazel, Andrew and also Kevin Khoo who rushed down for me! *touched*

* Sorry for the photos, I have no time during weekdays and apparently my weekends are more packed! So just take it as it is first k? At least I'm still sketching! *teehee**

Love,
Constance

July is gooooooooooooood

So far July had been good to me. It kicked started with a privilege given by Shirley, then followed by a great fellowship with some of the guys in church and the first week ended with a power packed weekend services with Pastor Mike Connel.

The past week were great too! I got second for Preach It!, went with Kelvin Yii to hear him share in a church in Shah Alam and had not one but two great back to back services in church today! *Blessed*

The man in action!

And I'm one of the winners of  #NNGotYouCovered! Still planning how to get my gift! But winning it means a lot to me already! Totally unexpected! My Hong Hong helped me win this competition!

Oh! Not forgetting those long chats with Hazel. I really really like talking to her. I don't know why also. Maybe she put a spell on me! LOL!

July! You had been soooo freaking good to me!!! TT *touched*

And I wanted to act all chill about this throughout the month, but I can't help but to yell out

"IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!!!"

Yeah!!!

I thought I've passed the phase where I'm excited about gifts and celebration. But apparently I have yet to leave that phase because GOD gave me the most wonderful present I can ever ask for! Never thought that it will actually come to past sooooo fast! Although is a bit different from what I've imagine, but God make it even more wonderful, memorable and meaningful! Teehee~

I'm not going to tell you what is it first, but I will definitely reveal it AFTER my birthday! hehehehehehe~

As a present for myself, I planned to go to Singapore for a short trip. But due to some reason (which will be reveal soon) I'm no longer going for that trip. Instead, I gave myself a 3 days leave after my birthday and before starting my new job!

I'm pretty excited about all these changes that are taking place in my life. Can't wait to see and experience what God have planned for me!

*Sorry for all those lousy picture of my sketches. I wanted to scan and color it, but I've been so busy and my body is sending me signals that I should rest more. So bear with it for now ya!!*

Love,
Constance

Things about me #1: Hugs

Many people might not know this, but I HATE people touching me! When I go to public places, I'm very aware of my surrounding and the people around me. I will try my best avoiding others from touching me! This is one of the reason why I hate crowded places, because I DO NOT LIKE people TOUCHING me. Even a unintentional touch can make me feel very very annoyed!

Keep that in mind, is very easy to tell if I like a person. Not that couple kind of like, but generally speaking kind of like. If someone I dislike touch me, I will feel uncomfortable and tend to avoid it. But if I'm comfortable with a person, I don't mind them touching me. The extend I allow them to touch me reflect how dear that person is to me.

But I love HUGs (from those who I'm comfortable with). Because HUGs speak a thousand words. Sometimes I might be smiling, but those who knows and understand will just give me a HUG and I will be smiling from my heart.

TWO HUGs stood out from the thousand of hugs I ever get.

One received when I felt like a STRANGER and he make me feel HOME.

The other received when I just needed to feel WARM and LOVED.

Just a simple side hug will do the magic.

Carrot Book

I don't remember when I get it or why I bought it. I just remember buying this book from Readz (church's book store, previously known as attributes) years ago. If I drew my first drawing the night I bought this book, then it will be at 2011/07/30. Is like one and a half years ago! OMG!!!

By the way, this is what I drew:

Is been a long way since that ugly sketch. 

For one period of time, it was my "just sketch" book. 

Then it became the "draw yourself" book.

 and for one period of time, it was my "sewing instruction" book.

I even brought this book to Singapore last year thinking that I will do some doodling, but I did none there. ><

But this book eventually came back to its calling and became my "sketch your thought" book. 

The first drawing wasn't just a random drawing, it was how I felt that time and I drew it out. And now, I doodle almost everyday. I will make it a point to draw something. 

Sometimes is my daily routine

Or the food I cook

Maybe how I feel at work

Or (my favorite) an impression in my heart.

This is my favorite of all! Somehow from that ugly sketching my doodling evolve into this. 

Is been a long and bumpy road for my little carrot book. 2 more pages and it will retire. carrot book! You served me well! Thank you!! Muacks!

I love love love the cover page! ALL GOOD THINGS START SMALL!

random sketches

I’ve been playing with this "paper" app ever since I got it from my Singapore CG member. I call him sifu now because of this app. He was shocked that I enjoyed it this much. He took my iPad from me and looks through my sketches one by one and commented on them. ><

Well, he is a real pro in drawing so he can comment all he wants.

He can draw very well right? He say this is the professional way of drawing shit. 

Anyway, here are some of my sketches. Enjoy! 

God, hear my cry.

Squarish hairstyle

I enjoy music. Let's dance.

Squarish rabbit?

A broken heart

I don’t know about you. But deep inside my heart I feel that every heart in this world is broken.

Some are broken by disappointment, some are broken by betrayal, some are broken because the lost of someone close and some are broken because of a painful past.

No matter what it is, there is something in our heart that we rather not say nor mention. If possible, we would like to erase it from our history. But we don’t have any time machine, and life goes on. Hearts are broken and time passed on. We all think that time is the only cure for heartache. But no matter how long it had past, a hurt is still a hurt until it is fully recover.

No one in this world is perfect. When someone disappoints us, we tend to go and find someone else to fill the emptiness in our heart. But slowly it became like a routine, there is always this someone that will hurt us followed by another, a non-ending routine.

God says “Give me your broken heart, and I will heal it”. No one in this world is perfect. No one’s love could ever fill the emptiness in our heart. We will still be disappointed by other people, because no one is perfect. But God is, God’s Love is perfect. He loves us no matter what we had done in the past. No matter how broken we are, no matter how wicked we are, God still LOVE us.

There is nothing we can do to make Him Love us more, there is nothing we can do that will make Him Love us less.

God’s love is not gained by hard work. God just love us.

Give your heart to Jesus, and let Him heal it and let Him love you.

The Mighty Cross

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross,
That God Himself should die for such as us,
And everyday we're changed
Into Your image more and more,
Yes, by the cross we've truly been transformed.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise
That You would save us at such a cost.
We're so amazed, and we give You praise
For the power of the cross,
For the power of the cross.


I can't get the lyrics out of my mind after we sang it in SOT the other day and I got the inspiration to sketch the cross. The Mighty Cross.

I din't know about this until I came to SOT. All these while I thought trough the cross only our sins are forgiven and we have eternal life. But through the cross Jesus did more than what I thought. His sacrifice gave us everything.

Through the cross, He took away my SINS and gave me FORGIVENESS.
Through the cross, He took away my REJECTION and gave me ACCEPTANCE
Through the cross, He took away my SICKNESS and gave me HEALING
Through the cross, He took away my CURSE and gave me BLESSINGS
Through the cross, He took away my POVERTY and gave me PROSPERITY
Through the cross, He took away DEATH and gave me ETERNAL LIFE
Through the cross, He took away my REBELLIOUS NATURE and gave me a NEW MAN

Whenever I think about the cross, I think about what Jesus had been through for us and tears couldn't stop rolling down from my eyes. Thank You Jesus for the CROSS.

My world was in yellow

Since young I always struggle with that period of the month (for girls only)!. Every time I suffer pain caused by "that", I will ask God why He created me as a girl and not boy. XD

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate being a girl, I just really really dislike the pain, other than that I'm OK with it. But again, who will like the pain right?

I experienced my worst last week. I was so weak that I begin to have headache other than stomach pain. My head begin to be dizzy, I can't walk straight and I started to vomit. I hit my worst when my world began to be yellow in colour!!! I couldn't stand, I think if I stood any longer I will black out. And the worst thing is, I'm not at home!!!!! I was like an hour plus journey from hostel.

I kind of pass out in the toilet for more than an hour before I felt better. Thank God I get better in time! If not I really don't know what to do. I did not have anything with me, not even my phone or my wallet. My beg was with my friend. XD

I think I really need to cut off my cold drinks and ice-cream. I don't want this happen again. My body is too weak to handle it... So envy of my friends that can drink cold water and even eat ice-cream during that period of time. And she don't feel any pain!!!! Why??!!!

Coincidently, my country was yellow that day, so do my world. ><