I was nervous about this competition since Friday morning. The pressure of the competition hit me during Thursday night CG when Shirley mentioned about it. I had butterflies in my stomach from Friday morning until the competition is over. I thought I was having my period. >< But it turns out, is my body reacting to all the stress!
On Friday night, I think I add on more stress to myself by choking myself with all the bible verses and studying different parables. But I thank God that while studying one of the parable, I actually felt the presence of God and cried like a baby. It was one of the parable Pastor Tan shared during prayer meeting last year. And for fun, I use it to practice for the competition. And half-way preaching to my computer screen, I actually teared. >< God is good. He is indeed GOOD!
I started my "express" bible study from 8 p.m. till 1:30 a.m. I wanted to continue but my mind was blank and my eyes could not stand it anymore. I went to bed took a few hours rest and then woke up at 6 a.m. to do some studying again.
And to let you know how stress I were, around one hour after I went to bed, I had a really really bad dream and I woke up feeling stress! >< And my tummy was super duper un-comfy too! What a unglamorous way of reacting to stress!
Fast forward to the Preach It! competition. Honestly speaking I wasn't happy with my performance. Not because I didn't win it, but because I didn't really preach it!
I did some self-evaluation after the competition and my conclusion is this:-
I was too self-conscious that I forgotten to let go and Let GOD.
I was too quick to just write down what I think I should preach rather than what God want to reveal through the parable. I wanted to prove myself and missed the opportunity to let the Holy Spirit use me. Aiks... And I end up being very nervous!
I took some time meditating on the parable, and I felt God revealed the way He wanted me to preach it. But too bad, I missed the chance, don't know when I will have the chance to share this with others.
But on the bright side, sis's CG member was blessed by my message. He say he almost cried. >< God can still move even though I messed up! Maybe what God want me to learn is this:-
Is really not about how good I am, but whether He show up or not.
God is GOOD! So next time I must worry less and just Let GOD worry.
Thank you all for your support! Sophia, Steven, Jan, Shirley, Hazel, Andrew and also Kevin Khoo who rushed down for me! *touched*
* Sorry for the photos, I have no time during weekdays and apparently my weekends are more packed! So just take it as it is first k? At least I'm still sketching! *teehee**
Love,
Constance
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