不要再翻了

很多人喜欢在发生争执和误会的时候翻旧账。

“她都不知道我以前为了她，怎么受委屈。”

“她难道忘了我以前对她多好吗？”

“我们不是还一起去旅行吗？”

说真的，这时候翻旧账又有什么用呢？

因为此时，她的的确确受伤了。

现在，因你而受伤。

翻旧账有用吗？

得到的会是谅解还是罪恶感呢？

如果你坚持这样做，那么麻烦你也看看人家以前是怎么对你的。

难道她就没有对你用心？

难道他就不曾为你牺牲？

我们常常看到自己的奉献和委屈，却忽略别人对我们的牺牲和忍耐。

此时，与其翻旧账，不如摊开而谈。

因为此刻，你们都因彼此而受伤。

Letters to God

Normal people write diary.
But I’m not normal.

Therefore I write letters, letters to God.

I write to God almost everyday.
I miss somedays when I’m travelling, I miss somedays when I’m too tired.
Some of the letters are long, some have just a few sentences because I’m too tired to keep writing.

To date, I’ve filled 2 notebooks with all those letters.

Few days ago, I decided to take out my first book and read through the letters.
I noticed somethings had changed but somethings remain.

God answered a few of my prayers.

He took away something that I didn't wanted.
He gave me courage to do things that He placed in my heart.
He gave me freedom to be myself as He created.
He gave me boldness to share the change He had brought into my life.
He gave me strength to fight the unknown battles within me.
He gave me wisdom to face doubts, questions and uncertainty.
He gave me comfort, peace and love when I’m alone with Him.

There are a lot  of things that I yet to get answer from God.

There are a lot of plans that didn’t happen as expected.
There are still a lot of things in me that are WIP since the very beginning.
But I know He is good.

I know and see the work He had been doing.
Though I don’t deny that sometimes I hope He can work quicker and make things happen in a blink of an eye.
But God is not like that, He does not only want things to change, He wants to change it with me.

I’ll be honest here, a lot of times I doubted God.
If He is so good, why aren’t things changing?
If He is so great, why aren’t things happening?
If He is really here with me, why is the journey so hard?

But time like this I remind myself that I cannot put my experience above who God say He is.

He is good, He is great, He is here.

I’m waiting for the day when I can look back to all that I’m going through and say “ah! It was good! It was all good.”

Just a reminder

In this Chinese New Year, learn to control yourself.

Other than Ang Pao, don't be too passionate about everything else.

You might regret... ... ... soon.

SEVENTH

I just realised something, I’m half way through my 12 days in Bangkok posts.



Oh! Kevin texted me a few days ago and told me that he received my postcard from Bangkok.

Finally. After 3 months.




Day 7 is a very special day.


You’ll know why.



We went back to Platinum Mall and walked around the area.


If you think Platinum Mall is the only place to shop there then you are WRONG!

Cause there’s so many other shopping malls there that have cheaper stuff!



Like many other outlets you can find, we went into a shop that is full of t-shirts.


Oyan went crazy and chose a lot of different designs.


The owner speaks a little English so we had a chance to talk to her.
 

Apparently the mall is pretty unknown to outsiders so their sales are not very good.


By the time we went there is almost afternoon and we were her first business that day.


Pretty sad to hear that.


When Oyan was paying, I had this urge to pray for her.


But I didn’t cause I was super scared.


Then when we were leaving, I felt that it will be now or never.


So I asked Oyan if we should pray for her and we eventually went back and prayed for her.
 :]

Was super happy and glad that we did!


Though she was the only person we prayed for, but is better than nothing! Hoho!





Happy Chinese New Year!

In this new year, I wish all of us will be prosper in every aspect in our lives.

More important, we will have richer encounter with GOD!!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Sixth

As I read through my diary, I have no idea what I did on day 6.

My diaries are not filled with the places and the event that took place, but more on what I felt at the end of the day and my constant conversations with God.

So I look through my phone and found only 5, yes just FIVE blur picture taken that day.
But is good enough to recall my memories.

I walked around the area we stayed that day and ended up in the wet market.
I think this part of me is pretty much influenced by Oyan because she likes to go wet market when we travel.
I’m kinna like it as well!

Wet market is not a tourist filled place but a place where you really blend in with the people and the culture.
I even visited the wet market during my trip to Taiwan!
And I loved it!

Super tempted to get some vege so that we can cook in the apartment.
But after giving it a second thought, I decided not to cause I don't want to lessen my chances to eat Thai Street food! Yummy!

We went back to Terminal 21 since is very near to the place we stayed and we went and watch Big Hero 6!
This is my first cinema experience in Thailand and is pretty awesome but also awkward!

Because it was the King’s birthday month, so they played some song dedicated to their King before the movie.
We weren’t sure what it was and didn't know if we will get arrested if we didn't stand.

So we stood until the song ended.
To our surprise, the locals didn't stand, but most that stood are foreigners. ><

At the end of the day I reflected the turmoil within me with God.

Because as mentioned earlier many people think that we’re crazy to go on to this trip.
And those comments were eating me up slowly.
I was so concerned that I couldn't enjoy the trip to the max.
But I’m glad that at the end of everyday, I’ll surrender all to God.

And He is good. :]

Is from my aunt

Didn't even realize is a day before Valentine until my colleague receive a special delivery.

She didn't believe me when I told her someone send her flowers.

All of us were very thrilled and happy but not her.

After she put the cupcakes and flowers on her table, she ran away from all of us. 

When another colleague of mine ask her "is this from your aunt?" and she said yes, I burst out laughing.
That's the standard answer she gives us whenever she receive something!
"Is from my aunt."

If is really her aunt, I think is pretty creepy.
Cause the cupcakes spell out "I LOVE YOU XXX XXX".

err... very loving "aunt".

Constance with God #3

Scrolling through Instagram and stumble upon a picture of a group of friend gathering.

Felt a little upset because one of them promised to ask me along.

Me: God, why they didn’t invite me? She promised.

God: Why do you care so much about people that you don’t even like.

Me: LOL. You got a point!

Constance with God #2

This conversation took place on the same day as this one.

My friend got lost on his way to my house and I was very irritated by it.

I felt that I had got him into trouble just because I needed a ride to cell group.

I was on the phone with him and at that very moment, my sister was back from work.

I got angry. (Ya, by now you should have realise that I have an anger problem. LOL)

I was angry because if she would told me that she’s not going to her CG, then I will be able to drive to my CG instead of troubling others.

With my heart filled with anger this conversation took place:-

Me: Why is she always like this? Never thought of me?

God: … … … 

Me: If she would have told me earlier, then I could have drove and no need to trouble others.

God: You should be grateful that she’s back.

Me: … … … 

God: If she wasn't back on time, you wouldn't be able to get out of the house and no one can drive you to Andrew. (My friend couldn't find my place and he waited me at the petrol station.)

Me: ... ... Sorry God. Sorry.

Fifth

Ello! I’m back to continue my 12 days Bangkok trip story!

Let’s talk about day 5!

As I check my diary, day 5 was a pretty fruitful day.

Fruitful not just because the stuff we bought, but also the place and people we meet.

One of the place we wanted to go badly during the trip is Erawan aka 四面佛. 

Can you believe that we actually pass by this place during our Bangkok trip in July earlier and totally did not realise it was so freaking near!

I was shocked to find out about that later when I did my homework for this December trip. ><

When other go there and give their sacrifices and wishes for their dream come true or for a better year, me and Oyan just sat there and watch.

Is n a while since I last visited a temple.

I think the last temple I visited in the one in Myanmar.

So I just walk around looking at the people there do their things.

We didn’t stay long though, because of the smoke and because is time for SHOPPING!

Bought quite a number of stuff but Oyan refuse to put all the cloths on the bed and take a pit because she say is too mainstream. LOL

Isn't it mainstream to go against mainstream? XD

And on our way back to our hotel, we stopped by at a street stall to get our dinner fix.

But the usual stall (yes, we have our usual stall even though we just been there for a few days) that we buy from was no where to be seen, so we just randomly picked one.

And there is where we met a beautiful boy (if you know what I mean) there!

She’s so pretty that I feel so embarrassed to be a girl! LOL

Just kidding, but she is seriously very very pretty!

She speaks Chinese and she helped us to communicate with the stall owner!

Super friendly~ 
Wished I had the chance to know her better.

And that’s all for day 5!

Constance with God #1

Inspired by “Things Shorty and Fatty say” by Timothy Tiah, I decided to start something similar!

CwG can stands for

Conversation with God

Communication with God

Constantly with God

Connect with God

or simply

Constance with God :]

Talking to God is a huge part of my life. 

I talk to Him all the time! 

And He never fail to amaze me!

Therefore, I want to pen all these down so that I can remember.

One day, if I ever need some encouragement and faith to believe, I can always come refer to all these small talks with God. ^^

Constance with God #1

A little bit of back story on this. Few days ago, we have our usual weekly Cell Group meetings (CGM). 

I kinna decided to skip it cause the girl who can fetched me is not going due to her parents were in town. 

But I received a text that afternoon from my friend, Jan and she told me that another member will be coming to fetch me. I was furious!

Me: God! How can they do this? Last week when I ask who can fetch me, no one reply. This week I no ask then they arrange it for me? They didn’t even ask me! I got say I want to go meh? If I got plans already how? Why they don’t respect me?

God: Respect is earned, you cannot demand people to respect you.

Me: Ya! But they still cannot like this ma!

God: Have you forgotten what you wrote to me yesterday night?

Then I remembered, this was what I wrote the night before. 

“Lord, tomorrow how? How are we going for PM (CGM)? Even go already also no car back. T.T How are? Can You provide? Please~~~”

Me: Sorry God. Sorry.

***

I've heard a lot of people say we cannot live our lives according to our feelings alone.

I agree with that, but that it does not mean we should just bury all negative feelings.

I think is better to deal with it every single time so that it will gather into mountain and burst like a volcano in the future.

Feelings should not be a dictator of our lives but it is a good indicator of something deeper.

Therefore I make it a point to tell God how I feel regardless is good or bad.

And He always, without fail will deal it with me and make sense of it.

This are just one of the many conversation I had we God when I spill out my feelings to Him.

More to come! :)

God was there before number one

As I mentioned earlier in my previous post, “Battlefield of the mind” by Joyce Meyer is not the first book I read in 2015. 

Because I read my first during my Taiwan trip, I did not highlight or bookmark those portion that touch my heart. 

So I reread it and I’m proud to say that I’ve completed “Have a little FAITH” by Mitch Albom!

BAM! 2 books in a month! Good job Constance Lim! Good job!

I like this book a lot because the things that he wrote is a lot like what God have been showing and telling me.

 

I can’t help but to keep whisper “AMEN” while reading this book! 

Is really a good read! 

It reveals a lot of the heart of The Father! :]

So here are 10 parts where I go AMEN and WOW!;-

 

“They weren’t perfect… … but they don’t need improvement.” ~ p.g. 52

“You’re not listening with your eyes.” ~ p.g. 61

“Stop celebrating. For those were my children, too.” ~ p.g.76

“When you come to the end, there’s where God begins.~ p.g. 79

“It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody’s out there.” ~ p.g. 82

“… And when we’re still looking at ourselves through our past, we’re not seeing what God has done. What He can do! We’re not seeing the little things that happen in our lives… … … You knew me. You knew that person, but you don’t know the person that I’m trying to become.” ~ p.g. 192

“Getting old, we can deal with. Bring old is the problem.” ~ p.g.125

“It’s God measuring you against you.” ~ p.g. 207

“Nothing haunts like the things we don’t say.” ~ p.g. 212

“You’re a man of God too,” he whispered. “Everyone is.” ~ p.g. 227

Honestly I find it very hard to just choose 10 because in every few pages, I will definitely take a deep breath and be in awe with the content. 

Is really a good book that you cannot miss!!!